I Am Going a Little Crazy

Another oldie, from Christmas Eve 2008.

Slowly, but surely.

So, it’s Christmas Eve and I’m awake and wired and have absolutely nothing to do.

It’s been snowing like crazy for the last week and a half. When it started I was in Seattle at a Christmas party with friends, and the next morning we couldn’t get through the road. The next day I came back to Orcas and had a semi (but not terribly exciting)-adventure returning. And then it snowed and snowed and snowed some more. It’s the most snow I’ve seen in the northwest, and it’s my sixth winter here. It’s wild, and awesome.

I’m loving it. It makes me want to go make snow angels and snowmen and build forts and have wild snowball fights. The roads are a mess, I mean solid ice covered in inches of snow. Walking anywhere that’s not a trodden path or shoveled walkway is deliriously fun, I sink in halfway up to my knees.

I saw a drift the other day that’s practically as tall as me. On a street corner, a bunch of kids made this snowman that is taller than me, with an orange traffic cone for a hat (though the snowman itself was taller than me, even w/o the hat). I wish I had a camera because I’d take zillions of pictures to immortalize this winter weather. Last year we got almost none and I was let down by that fact. So yeah, I’m loving it. It’s been massively windy too, so sometimes I just stare out the sliding glass door to my little back porch and watched the snow blow around in these huge gusts. The shocking thing is that unlike other years, I haven’t lost power, though I know those that have. I wouldn’t mind it, briefly. I love storms, love them.

The only downside is, I have cabin fever like you wouldn’t believe. Town seems pretty shut down, and the winter weather keeps on coming, which again, I’m all for, but I’m also a little bored. More than a little. I think I now know how my dog felt. The last few months I had her, the weather was awful and I was working a lot so I wasn’t taking her out as much, and I could sense this feeling of frustration from her, like she wanted to go run eighteen thousand miles and instead she was cooped up in my apartment while I worked. Now I sort of feel the same way, a little shut in with all this delirious winter happy energy and nothing to do with it. Town seems totally dead. A lot of my friends have left the island over the last few months, and my friend Elynn who I spent a lot of last winter hanging out with is living on the other side of the island now, and like I said, the roads are total shit. I won’t be able to get to the Christmas concert that is a tradition on Orcas, given by Susan Osborn, who is such an amazing singer. It was a magical experience last year, but it is on the other side of the island as well. My phone keeps dying because I’m spending so much time talking, to connect, to kill time. I hope my ears don’t fall off, lol. Even the mail is getting fucked up and delayed. I’m going a little crazy. I check my mail (which is by PO box, so I actually have to walk to the PO) twice a day, just for something to do, and an excuse to get bundled up and tromp through the drifts.

I finished watching Grey’s and I’m resisting starting to watch it again from the beginning, because I ordered the DVDs and I don’t want any chance of being sick of it by the time they arrive. Although there are some scenes I must’ve replayed a million times. Which is odd for me, I never even did that with House, not even the House/Cuddy makeout scene. I found a Grey’s board game online, and I’m such a dork that I actually really want it, even though I don’t know who I’d play it with.

And I’m too hyper and stir crazy to read or write, I just can’t sit still like that. It’s been a difficult holiday season for reasons I will not go into in a public blog, but shit, it’s been a tough one. Which surprised me, because last year was such a great holiday season for me, I was so into it, baking cookies, even listening to Xmas music and all that crap. I’m pretty sure I posted about that. It rocked. This year, I might as well be a female scrooge. It’s not really that bad, but it is bad. At least I do have somewhere to go tomorrow, so the loneliness won’t eat me alive or I won’t kill myself out of boredom. But yeah, I can’t seem to sit still. I haven’t even sat still while writing this blog.

And the worst part is, now it’s raining. It was snowing earlier, and I say, bring it on, but now it’s raining, and I’m going to have to have a word with mother nature if all the snow melts so soon. Because that’s at least giving me something to smile about. It complicates things, as bitched about above, but it also so rare here, and I don’t want it to fade too quickly, even if it’s making me stir crazy. I am a complicated woman.

Unfortunately I don’t have a camera, but my computer does, so above is the view out my door:

Well, I think I’ll go kill time by cleaning my kitchen, which is exactly every single girl in their late twenties dreams of spending Christmas Eve, lol.

Currently Listening:
“Criminal” – Fiona Apple – I’ve been on yet another Fiona Apple kick lately. In fact I just recently found these two songs that are “supposedly” by her, “Ugly Girl” and “If We Kissed.” The lyric sites I’ve looked do attribute both to Miss Apple, but they just don’t sound like her, especially “Ugly Girl” which I must say, I don’t really like at all. Still trying to find out for sure if they are her. Anyway, Criminal, great song, I always sing this at Karaoke when I get the balls to sing, which hasn’t happened in quite some time. I would love to sing Never Is a Promise instead, which they have at the local karaoke deal, but I don’t think I could pull it off, so Criminal it is. It’s deliciously fun to get up there and sing that first line, “I’ve been a bad, bad girl,” LOL. And I totally relate to, “I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep living this day like the next will never come.” And I love, “What would an angel say, the devil wants to know…” I will leave you all with that thought.

2 thoughts on “I Am Going a Little Crazy

  1. OMG I just stumbled on this post I wrote awhile back while looking for something else. Oh if I could have gone back to myself that day while writing that post and told myself NOT to leave the house that day. Nothing terrible happened, but let's just say I had a very, very awkward Xmas eve night, for reasons I am definitely not discussing in public, oh my.

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