It’s going to be light this month. It’s been a month of a lot of personal emotional turmoil and change, and somehow in that, I haven’t consumed as much pop culture as usual.
The only TV I watched was some Veronica Mars early this month with my good friend, and I haven’t watched any since he moved last week, and some Better Call Saul for recaps for the site.
I tried to watch the Bachelor GOAT episode for Ali’s season because it was one of my favorites (Kasey has to be one of the most memorable characters of all time on that show) but those GOAT episodes are just TOO LONG and I gave up and listened to podcasts about it instead.
Speaking of podcasts, oh podcasts, this month, I think due to sheer emotional exhaustion that’s been going on for months, I just couldn’t with much other than replaying old episodes of Bachelor-related podcasts from old seasons back in the day.
Most of my pop culture consumption this month was in the arenas of music and books. Some are repeats, and some are new.
It’s strange because I have felt kind of out of touch lately. I haven’t wanted to read tarot for people because I feel sort of detached, disconnected from whatever it is – universal energy, the collective unconscious, cosmic forces, whatever deeper, nonverbal thing I usually tap into while reading cards. I feel almost out of touch w/myself. I know I’m coming out of it, but it’s still there, residually.
So I feel off, inaccurate, scattered and out of touch when it comes to things like tarot, but give me movies and TV and I am ON IT, figuring out all the plot twists way ahead of time. The other weekend, a friend and I went to see 21, which is based on a true story about some MIT kids who counted cards. I liked the movie a lot, it was a great story, and I happen to really love numbers, and also anything about geniuses. I mean, that’s a huge part of why I love House. So I was really fascinated by the whole concept of counting cards, kinda wanted to learn how to do it just to see if I could, if I have the mental capacity to be able to do it. So we’re watching the movie and I kept leaning over and telling my friend what was going to happen. It wasn’t a wholly unpredictable movie, so it’s not like super impressive, but still. I can’t really explain it, I just feel kind of on top of my game, really noticing subtle clues.
I’ve been sick for the last week or so. It’s been no fun at all. On the good side though, it’s given me a lot of time to think. It’s funny how when an illusion shifts, there’s really no going back. Once you see something, it’s hard to pretend you never did.
So, while sick in bed, watching old episodes of The Office and (of course) House and coughing up a lung, it kinda became clear to me that my current life isn’t really working for me the way I wish it was. I’m not really happy with where I’m at. It’s a sobering realization.