I have tried many times to explain who I am, at all different points in my life. I have used up pages and pages trying to convey all the different and conflicting attributes of my personality. I have used my interests, my reactions to situations, the way I think, what I believe in, some significant experiences, my aspirations, my fears, and my deepest innermost emotions to try to define what makes me who I am and separates me from the rest of the world. I have tried to find what makes me an individual, unique in my own way. Each time I have tried I always have come away feeling that I am too complex to explain, or maybe that I am no different from anyone else.
Then, over the course of eighth and ninth grade I read the six-part series by Christopher Pike called The Last Vampire series. They sound like books that are just simple thrillers for young readers, and for someone at a younger age, that is really all they are. However, I read the series earlier this year at a much deeper level and was amazed at what I found. There is really significant material within the lines of the books.
After the first reading, I finished the last book feeling different, but I could not easily put my finger on the reason why. I felt a sense of tranquility that I was unaccustomed to.
Here is a post from January 2009. Yes, I’m still importing old posts from back in the day, in order, and I will eventually catch up to myself. So yeah, this is from five years ago. Funny to read myself talking about applying to go back to school and all that. Seems like so much more than just five years ago. Here it is:
Am I tempting the fates here?
A complete 180 from last month, but I only continue to feel better and better. Tonight I feel downright ecstatic, not for any good reason, but there’s movement coming in my life, and it’s overdue. I’m psyched for my trip to India, and psyched for my trip to SF to fly out – not only will I visit schools (and all my visits are totally all confirmed and lined up), but I will stay with my friend Tracy, who is one of my favorite people ever, then stay with Elynn, one of my best Orcas friends who’s moving south (who I just had the best evening with), then hopefully I’llsee my friend Kelly, and then see Luke C (BTW Luke if you read this, I think a new episode of House will be on while I’m there in SF and OMG that’d be fun to watch together, I never get to watch with anyone who’s super into it, so, let’s make that happen) and Maryam. It’s going to be a wild adventure before I even get on a plane to go overseas!